Acceptance is a tricky thing. It is a word often used to encourage people to give up the stress that they have over things that are not within their control to change. Which brings up an even more challenging notion of trying to determine how to know what is within your control and what is not.
I have had clients who refuse to get tested or evaluated for conditions because they are certain that they would not do anything different. For example, one of my clients has a strong family history of a type of cancer that typically only presents symptoms once it has progressed beyond stages where any treatments are effective. This client, having watched family members fight losing battles against this cancer, has chosen to not have any treatments, and, thus, determined that no testing is necessary. While to some, this "I am not going to do anything different if they do find it" position sounds outrageous, to me it sounds like far more open and direct. While I don't think it takes into account the many advances that are made in treatment options on a seemingly daily basis, it also isn't pretending and avoidance that many others do when they avoid information out of fear.
Recently I met a woman who gave up running because of consistent knee pain. She had tried treatment options through her physician, but stopped when none of the treatments helped. I was not meeting this woman as a client and since my advice was not requested I did not offer, but there are many things in my opinion that she did not try. Instead of searching for a solution she simply accepted that she could no longer run. Did I mention that how much she talked about having loved running? Or, that she talked about running as "her time", her escape from her daily stressors and that she was still in her 30s?
Perhaps it is my nature to not accept those things until they are clearly not within my control, but in this situation I felt she had many more options she had not tried. She had decided that the one thing that she loved for stress relief and time for her, not to mention exercise, was not worth trying exercises specific to strengthen weakened muscles of her hips, massage for the tight areas nor gait evaluation to see if there was a change to disrupt the pattern that was overstressing the same areas.
Now you might say that she didn't know that those options were available and, thus, was unaware she had more control. Which brings us back around to the tricky area of determining what you should just accept and that which you continue to challenge. I believe the well known way to say this is "The wisdom to know the difference." But wisdom comes through knowledge and experience. Without striving for learning and experiencing more you might never develop the ability to discern that which you should just accept...kinda feels like a circular argument leading nowhere.
So the real ideal seems to be an acceptance not as a determinant of whether you desire change, but as a way to decrease worry and stress. Much like the acceptance of your body that is necessary to create the most effective change, acceptance of any situation is the first step toward creating what you want. It is time to view acceptance not as a resignation but as a total awareness which illuminates all of the options and possibilities.
As always, let me know how I can help.
Adam
I have had clients who refuse to get tested or evaluated for conditions because they are certain that they would not do anything different. For example, one of my clients has a strong family history of a type of cancer that typically only presents symptoms once it has progressed beyond stages where any treatments are effective. This client, having watched family members fight losing battles against this cancer, has chosen to not have any treatments, and, thus, determined that no testing is necessary. While to some, this "I am not going to do anything different if they do find it" position sounds outrageous, to me it sounds like far more open and direct. While I don't think it takes into account the many advances that are made in treatment options on a seemingly daily basis, it also isn't pretending and avoidance that many others do when they avoid information out of fear.
Recently I met a woman who gave up running because of consistent knee pain. She had tried treatment options through her physician, but stopped when none of the treatments helped. I was not meeting this woman as a client and since my advice was not requested I did not offer, but there are many things in my opinion that she did not try. Instead of searching for a solution she simply accepted that she could no longer run. Did I mention that how much she talked about having loved running? Or, that she talked about running as "her time", her escape from her daily stressors and that she was still in her 30s?
Perhaps it is my nature to not accept those things until they are clearly not within my control, but in this situation I felt she had many more options she had not tried. She had decided that the one thing that she loved for stress relief and time for her, not to mention exercise, was not worth trying exercises specific to strengthen weakened muscles of her hips, massage for the tight areas nor gait evaluation to see if there was a change to disrupt the pattern that was overstressing the same areas.
Now you might say that she didn't know that those options were available and, thus, was unaware she had more control. Which brings us back around to the tricky area of determining what you should just accept and that which you continue to challenge. I believe the well known way to say this is "The wisdom to know the difference." But wisdom comes through knowledge and experience. Without striving for learning and experiencing more you might never develop the ability to discern that which you should just accept...kinda feels like a circular argument leading nowhere.
So the real ideal seems to be an acceptance not as a determinant of whether you desire change, but as a way to decrease worry and stress. Much like the acceptance of your body that is necessary to create the most effective change, acceptance of any situation is the first step toward creating what you want. It is time to view acceptance not as a resignation but as a total awareness which illuminates all of the options and possibilities.
As always, let me know how I can help.
Adam
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